Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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