i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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