yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My feet surprised me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
