I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
