i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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