This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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