im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
