I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
