420 ftw
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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