He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize