your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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