I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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