He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
