But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
