i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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