i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
