you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
