Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize