I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
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