The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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