the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
im on a boat
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