he thought i was a dude.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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