We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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