She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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