We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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