Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
