Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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