you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.