***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony