fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis