Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i think my tv is drunk

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(860): i think my tv is drunk http://tfl.nu/pa05

Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (468)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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(703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr

Replies (30) Good night (5495) Bad night (484)
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(404): View more from Georgia

girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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(404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9

Replies (20) Good night (672) Bad night (3724)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth

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(919): I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth http://tfl.nu/uiea

Replies (4) Good night (529) Bad night (2901)
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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2256) Bad night (4463)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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(920): The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina http://tfl.nu/dlly

Replies (28) Good night (1232) Bad night (3673)
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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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(360): Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day http://tfl.nu/ig75

Replies (16) Good night (4093) Bad night (790)
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(239): View more from Florida

gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.

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(239): gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me. http://tfl.nu/wt0v

Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (3417)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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(814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7

Replies (2) Good night (1823) Bad night (751)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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(484): But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have http://tfl.nu/07zt

Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (555)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.

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(314): Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober. http://tfl.nu/dut2

Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (518)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.

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(403): We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex. http://tfl.nu/5276

Replies (9) Good night (1652) Bad night (471)
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(972): View more from Texas

Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?

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(972): Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney? http://tfl.nu/omqz

Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (455)
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(212): View more from New York

Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.

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(212): Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing. http://tfl.nu/bv2c

Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (220)
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(360): View more from Washington

I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.

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(360): I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/6lmr

Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (421)

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