he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I die, sorry about rent.