Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

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  (314): Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead. (573): Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what. http://tfl.nu/rrcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1523) Bad night (544)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.

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  (812): When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night. http://tfl.nu/n33w
  Replies (21) Good night (11951) Bad night (773)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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  (407): he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him http://tfl.nu/igzq
  Replies (36) Good night (911) Bad night (6039)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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  (301): just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play. http://tfl.nu/cpw3
  Replies (20) Good night (4222) Bad night (786)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun

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  (905): Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun http://tfl.nu/uh6g
  Replies (13) Good night (2778) Bad night (1337)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?

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  (518): i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone? http://tfl.nu/iu7h
  Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (2628)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent

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  (301): Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent http://tfl.nu/21ar
  Replies (8) Good night (3279) Bad night (1784)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1450) Bad night (2332)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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  (815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb
  Replies (8) Good night (2079) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nobody in the ambulance liked me...

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  (775): Nobody in the ambulance liked me... http://tfl.nu/5rji
  Replies (11) Good night (851) Bad night (1735)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

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  (304): I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry http://tfl.nu/4kpv
  Replies (5) Good night (1439) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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  (409): Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY. http://tfl.nu/n49p
  Replies (11) Good night (427) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country

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  (740): Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country http://tfl.nu/207x
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well

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  (831): we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well http://tfl.nu/bl6g
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (257)

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