We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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