Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
