spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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