Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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