I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
