just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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