3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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