Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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