How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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