I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
