WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
