Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
