you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
