just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
