I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
