Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
