We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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