Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
...so i touched it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
