Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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