have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
