I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
