So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
