You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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