Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
