And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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