It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
