Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?