Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dating After Heartbreak
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.