Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX