I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?