No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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