she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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