If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
