do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
