we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
