I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
