this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
