Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Panties = found
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
