do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
